Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks

From the Publisher:  The bestselling and much-loved classic – Birdsong is an epic tale of love and death during the Great War. Set before and during the great war, Birdsong captures the drama of that era on both a national and a personal scale. It is the story of Stephen, a young Englishman, who arrives in Amiens in 1910. Over the course of the novel he suffers a series of traumatic experiences, from the clandestine love affair that tears apart the family with whom he lives, to the unprecedented experiences of the war itself.

Coal miners would take canaries with them in the tunnels.  Sensitive to deadly gases that may build up underground, when the bird stops singing and dies, it's a good idea to get out or you will not carry on to see another day.

Tunnel rats during WWI also used canaries for the same reason.

This was a difficult book for me to read.  It took me about a year from beginning to end.  It was emotionally too much. The tagline of this book is "of love and war."  I'm afraid that many people, mostly women, will pick this up thinking this is a love story.  Oh, there is romantic love, and the beginning of the novel is where the affair between Stephen and Isabelle emerges.  However, I don't believe this book is about romantic love.  It is the love of our fellow man, the love of humanity and for each other.  The love of carrying on.

After the affair and Stephen finds love for the first time in his life, we are whisked away to WWI--The Great War.  This is initially where I stopped reading.  Faulks in graphic in his writing.  Not gory--truthful.  He gave us a picture of reality of war and of life in the trenches and tunnels.  He educated us on the realities of war, watching people you know taking a breath one moment and having it expire in the next.  Stephen experienced and saw what no man was ever meant to be a part of.

This is why I stopped reading.  Being pregnant at the time, I didn't want those images in my mind.  While a new being was being knitted in my womb, I was witnessing the destruction of similar beings that were created and formed inside a woman.  A woman went through great pains to bring forth this life.  Most of the men were probably nurtured and loved as babes . . . and now that I have my own babies, it is very difficult to find a reason for us to dehumanize each other in such a way.  This is why it was so hard for me to read.

I had kept my copy about, the childing having access to it.  C. likes to flip through my books, pick a page and exclaim, "I like this page!"  Z. was just a little and it became a teething device.  (And it's okay that they did such damage to this one.  After buying it, I realized that I have a hardcover edition in my store TBR books.)  I found it fitting that my children took such a fascination to his book over all the other books I leave about.

Back to the novel . . .

I found that I needed a little adjustment period every time Faulks switched eras.  As I said, first that was the period before WWI and the romance of Stephen and Isabelle.  Then we just to WWI.  After we trudge through this time period, we're transported to the late 1970s.  From there we jump back and forth between WWI and the 1970s.  At first I found this quite annoying, but I quickly fell back into the groove as the final pieces of the story was put together.

There are parts of this novel when I felt i was obvious a male was writing.  One was the encounters between Stephen and Isabelle.  Another was when a female character was giving birth.  Right before she pushed the baby out, she was worried about bloodying the towels.  Seriously?  With my first I went all natural, my second was induced, but no pain meds, and my third was a c-section.  Right before the baby is about to come into this world, I cared for nothing--even if the entire world was witnessing the event.  Blood on the towels would be the last thing on my mind!

Ultimately, I loved this novel.  It sits with me the way that "Every Man Dies Alone" still does.  It makes you look deep inside yourself and examine ourselves and our world.  It makes you think of the past, the lives it held and the tales that could be told.  And, in all honesty,it makes me a little apprehensive towards the future.

If you haven't read this one already, add this to your TBR pile.  And put it close to the top.

•••

A miniseries of Birdsong was produced in the UK last year and was shown on Masterpiece on PBS.  I did watch maybe a half hour of it, but didn't let myself watch more because I hadn't finished the book.  Here's the trailer:

And it appears that Hollywood is trying to make their own version.  Although Sebastian Faulks is keeping a tight reign on production.  Good for him!  I think that Hollywood tends to butcher pretty much, well, everything.

Title: Birdsong

Author: Sebastian Faulks

Publication Year: (First) 1993 / This edition 2012

Publisher: Vintage Books

ISBN: 9780099573098

Pages: 503

Source: Personal copy

Rating: 4.5/5

Recommend?: Yes.

Review: Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

From the Publisher: Code Name Verity is a compelling, emotionally rich story with universal themes of friendship and loyalty, heroism and bravery.
Two young women from totally different backgrounds are thrown together during World War II: one a working-class girl from Manchester, the other a Scottish aristocrat, one a pilot, the other a wireless operator. Yet whenever their paths cross, they complement each other perfectly and before long become devoted friends. But then a vital mission goes wrong, and one of the friends has to bail out of a faulty plane over France. She is captured by the Gestapo and becomes a prisoner of war. The story begins in "Verity's" own words, as she writes her account for her captors.

When I received an email announcing a chance to read/review this book, I jumped at the chance.  Not usually a YA fan (although I admit to devouring "The Princess Diaries" series in my early 30s), I had heard so many positive words about this WWII novel. I was so happy that this was the first YA that I have come across that isn't dark/paranormal and set in one of my favorite reading eras.  I thought how can this go wrong?

Unfortunately it did for me.

Oh, I know the praises this novel received.  These praises are for a reason, I suspect, but I made it through about a quarter of this one before I called it quits.  I found it long and tedious.  I thought that the character, who was writing her story as a Nazi prisoner, was far-fetched.  While I don't know the ins and outs of the techniques used by the Nazis to retrieve information from their enemies, the ones I do know of were not pretty.  I couldn't move beyond the idea that it would have taken her AGES to write what she had written.  I doubt the Nazis were that patient.

Maybe it was the fact that I was pregnant that turned me off of this one.  War isn't something that a pregnant woman wants on her mind.  Who wants to read about endless death, dying and brutality whild a new life is being created inside of you?  Now that baby is thriving outside the womb, I still do not see myself taking a second chance on this one.

What do I know?  Only that there are so many reviews singing its praises.  Many loved this one.  If you're a fan of YA and/or WWII era fiction, I'd give it some consideration.  Afterall, it was shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal.  I, however, am moving on and not looking back.

Title: Code Name Verity

Author: Elizabeth Wein 

Publication Year: 2012

Publisher: Doubleday Canada

ISBN: 9780385676540

Pages: 352

Source: Ebook ARC via Netgalley

Rating: Didn't finish

Recommend?  No.

Continuing the Journey

I have abandoned my blog for quite awhile.  It has been shoved to the "I'll get to it someday' list.  It hasn't left my mind.  I have struggled with the idea of no longer blogging about books.  I wanted to continue blogging, but it took up a lot of time.  And leisure time is very precious when you have small children.  I know many bloggers feel that they have to continue blogging to keep readers happy, to keep their numbers up. While I suspect my following is slight, I do not blog for readers.  Sure, I love exchanging thoughts about the books I read and connecting with other readers.  Through blogs I have discovered new fabulous reads and have passed on other reads due to reviews.  Yet the reason I have a blog is purely selfish.

That selfishness has me wanting to continue my blog now that life has started to (hopefully) calm down.  When I stopped blogging, I was pregnant with my third child.  Having a two year old and one year old is hectic enough!  Add horrible morning sickness, I spent days on the floor with my two youngsters climbing all over me while I had a love/hate relationship with Food Network.  This pregnancy didn't prove to be as easy as my two previous ones.  I was horribly exhausted all the time, which I later found out was due to an iron and B12 deficiency.

My babes are now three, two and five months.  Time is even more limited, but I find moments to sneak in a page or two.  Night time is usually when most of my reading is done.  I have many reviews to post.  A few that are still promised to publishers and authors.  I am happy and excited to blog again.  My posts may ebb and flow depending on the season of life.  The longest stretch of sleep I've had since my daughter was born was five hours and that happened once.  Maybe twice.  A good night is when I get a few 2.5-3 hour stretches.  One night I had all three children up at 2am.  (Yeah!!! for sleep regressions and teething!!)  I fit in reading and blogging when I can. Any book blogging mommas that have any tips or advice on how to fit it all in, feel free to share!

***

One more thing I'd like to share.  I wanted a new look for my blog and I found Rockaboo Designs on Etsy.  Kaylah has many affordable looks for blogger blogs.  Once purchased, she responded with my new blog design very fast.  And when I contacted her a month later when I accidently deleted the email with the template in it, she immediately sent me an archived copy.  Her designs appeal to me and her response was wonderful.  I had to give her a shout out on my blog.

MOMumental by Jennifer Grant

From the publisher:

Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family

One mom’s humorous and candid memoir shows would-be supermoms how to create a realistically balanced family life without losing their minds.

A longtime former writer for the Chicago Sun-Times and now a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, Jennifer Grant is no stranger to the common reader. MOMumental is a foray into the enormously amusing, creative, and taxing process of raising a family and a starkly honest memoir that mothers everywhere can identify with. With narrative that is chock-full of humorous, poignant stories drawn from her everyday adventures as a mother and wife, Grant presents an entertaining and inspirational book that will give readers uncommon insights about being an intentional parent.

It has been my experience that most parenting books want to tell you that your baby or child must do: A, B, C.  And to do this, as the parent, you must do: X, Y, Z.  If it fails, then you must assume that you are doing something wrong.

I learned during my early days of parenting that these books aren't worth the paper they're printed on.

However, if you're looking for guidance in the parenting department, starting with MOMumental is not a bad idea.  This book is different.  It's a lighthearted, humorous view on parenthood (because, really, there are time we have to laugh to stop us from crying).  And Ms. Grant quickly become an ally in parenting.  This is not another 'mom vs. mom' fire ignite (think Time magazine) or someone spouting off a list of dos and don'ts.  Instead, Grant is a mom who has been there, lived through the early years of parenthood with a handful of kids, and is here to tell us that the feelings and thoughts we have, especially in the early years, are normal.  And we will survive.

Grant does not paint herself as a perfect parent.  Oh, she did have dreams of being a perfect parent, especially as a child.  Her childhood, being raised in a single parent home after her parent divorced and her dad fell out of the picture, led her to have a fantasy about her future life with her future family.  The reality is a much different life than the envisioned future of a young girl living through a family torn apart.  But Grand is quick to remind us that reality does not equate "bad."  Parenthood may not be easy, but it can turn out okay.

I'm usually hesitant about reading "parenting" or "mom" books I'm happy I gave this one a chance.  In a world where moms have to be perfect with perfect children or face the harshness of other moms and society in general, MOMumental is a breath of fresh air.  It is a reminder that no mom or dad is prefect and that we will make mistakes.  Grant also reminds us that we shouldn't feel guilty of these mistakes because most will not have any long term effects upon the children.  Having a fantasy family is just that--a fantasy.  But with hard work, and some stumbles along the way, we can create something wonderful within our family.  And reading Grant's book is like sitting around with your girlfriends over a cup of coffee, sharing your parenting dirt with sympathetic compassion instead of condemnation.

Title: MOMumental
Author: Jennifer Grant
Publication Year: 2012
ISBN: 978-1-61795-074-2
Publisher: Worthy Publishing
Source: Review copy supplied from Handlebar Marketing
Rating: 4/5
Recommend?  Yes, especially if you're a new, first time parent!

Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda

From the publisher: Somer’s life is everything she imagined it would be—she’s newly married and has started her career as a physician in San Francisco—until she makes the devastating discovery she never will be able to have children.
The same year in India, a poor mother makes the heartbreaking choice to save her newborn daughter’s life by giving her away. It is a decision that will haunt Kavita for the rest of her life, and cause a ripple effect that travels across the world and back again.
Asha, adopted out of a Mumbai orphanage, is the child that binds the destinies of these two women. We follow both families, invisibly connected until Asha’s journey of self-discovery leads her back to India.
Compulsively readable and deeply touching, Secret Daughter is a story of the unforeseen ways in which our choices and families affect our lives, and the indelible power of love in all its many forms.

It's no secret that I tend to shy away from "International Bestsellers" or books that the masses adore.  It seems that when I read them, I can't seem to share the love.  When I came across this book in the thrift store, it sounded interesting . . . different, and I felt like I should give it a go.

I'm so glad I did.

This is the story of two families that live in two very different parts of the world.  One family in the US, an expat from India and his American wife.  They are doctors, affluent, pretty . . . but infertile.  The other family is a poor family living in a village in India.  They wanted to start a family, but it has to be the right family.  This means having sons.  When this family has a daughter, a mother is faced with a life changing, heartbreaking decision that effects them all.

Tied in this gut wrenching story, the story weaves in the truths of gendercide and feticide.  That is the killing of a child due to its gender, whether it's after birth or while the baby is still in its mother's womb.

The story sucks you in right from the beginning, tugging on your emotions.  It was especially hard for me as a mom, as a mom of a daughter, and someone who believes that every life is precious ad real, even when unborn.

I found myself really in awe at how the author described the American wife.  When I lived back home in the US, I never really noticed it.  But since living in Canada (while there are MANY similarities, it isn't the same), I have started to notice what the author described.  And since I discovered the tv show, House Hunters International, a real estate show that follows families moving and finding homes overseas, I've really noticed it.  Americans, generally women, seem to be such snobs!  The character of Somer, our America mom in the story, really suck with me.  How she was a snob to her husband's family and the different lifestyle of people in India.  Even the denial that her own daughter, her adopted daughter from India, is not like her.  The desires for her daughter, Asha, to find out who she is and where is she from, unsettles Somer.  More so as a mother than as an American woman.

We witness the truths of being a poor family in India.  We witness the truths of what is like to be a woman, a daughter and a wife in India. 

While we follow the lives of these families for over twenty years, we witness the evolvement of the relationships between husbands ad wives, parents and children, death and birth.  The lives of the men in this story was not developed, and I can see that some readers will have some trouble with this.  However, I believe the author did this one purpose.  This is a story about women.  This is a story about mothers.

This is a book that I would highly recommend to all.  It is a fast read, each chapter coming from different characters' points of view.  If you've thought of picking this one up, please do so soon!

To bring more awareness to gendercide, a documentary indicating that "the three deadliest words in the world . . . 'It's A Girl!'."  As I have only viewed the trailer and not the entire documentary, I do have to agree that this a problem worldwide--even in our western first world nations.  I came across this article about a month ago.  Canadian moms, born in India, see more sons born than daughters.  Such a significant amount that it is being noticed.

Title: Secret Daughter
Author: Shilpi Somaya Gowda
Publication Year: 2010
ISBN: 978-0-06-197430-4
Publisher: William Morrow
Source: Personal copy
Rating: 5/5
Recommend? Yes!

Book Review: What A Son Needs From His Dad by Michael A. O'Donnell, PhD

From the publisher:

What Important Role Does a Dad Play in His Son's Life?

He may be a little boy asking you to play catch today. But what about the years to come? Will you continue to be an important influence, helping him realize the potential God has given him?

As a man, you know a lot of what your son will face, and no one is in a better position to prepare him for life. Michael O'Donnell's insights offer simple but powerful techniques to help you start your son on the road to maturity. You can build the father-son bond you want and lead him into a healthy, well-balanced manhood.

What a Son Needs From His Dad will give you proven day-to-day strategies to:
•    instill character and strong spiritual values
•    develop responsible habits toward work and money
•    dialogue about sexuality and prepare him for marriage
•    encourage godly friendships with other boys and men

Be the man you want your son to become and launch a relationship with him that will last a lifetime.

When I became pregnant with my first, I hoped for a boy.  Girls scared me.  I grew up a tomboy with two older brothers.  They, between the two of them, have produced five boys and no girls.  My little knowledge of children comes from my nephews.  They were a lot of fun and enjoyed rough and tough boy things.  I can handle that.  Deep down I knew I was having a girl and it scared me.  (Yes, my first child is a girl.)

My daughter and I seemed to bond instantly and I felt I understood her.  I know how to meet her needs, understood what she wanted and how to comfort her.  She was a very difficult baby in the sense she was high needs (she cried/fussed/screamed literally 24/7 her first month on this earth), but I just knew what she needed.

So when I became pregnant with number two, I was suddenly scared that it would be a boy.  Maybe I didn't understand them as well as I thought I did.  My gut was telling me this one was a boy, which was confirmed  with an ultrasound.  When he was born, I felt like a first time mom all over again.  Turns out the holding and the cuddling his big sister craved wasn't what this little guy wanted.  I remember telling him, both of us in the midst of tears, "I don't know what to do to make you happy."  I couldn't figure him out and it did put a damper on our bonding.  I was so convinced he wasn't too impressed with having me as his mom.

So when Bethany House offered this book, I jumped at it.  Even though I am "mom," and not "dad," I figured it couldn't hurt to gain a bit of insight on boys. (Truly, they are weird creatures.)

Reading this book, it seemed a lot of this is basic, common knowledge of information for child rearing.  Some can be applied to a daughter as well.  However, if we stop and take a look at our society, and understand that a good portion of our chaos is due to parental choices, well, it's easy to conclude that maybe we as parents aren't making the best choices when it comes to raising children.  All choices have consequences.  Some consequences are negative, while some are positive.

O'Donnell emphasizes that fathers have a very important role in their children's lives.  With sons, fathers have to be the role that they want their sons to emulate.  O'Donnell outlines seven core issues that they must live, to help develop them in their sons:

1) develop disciples of Christ
2) good citizens
3) holders of worthy vocations; responsible workers
4) chooser of good friends
5) able to enjoy life
6) sexually chaste; understanding of male sexuality; avoiding the hazards of pornography
7) lovers of their wives; supporters of their marriages

One thing that I loved about this book is that O'Donnell also outlined stages of development in a boy.  These stages begin in birth and end at old age with the knowledge of impending death.  Stage 1 is Trust vs. Mistrust, which is from birth to eighteen months.  A baby learns to trust by having a predictable, nurturing environment.  (All the more reason why I refuse to let my babies 'cry-it-out'--but that's another blog post for another blog.)  This, for me, has confirmed that I was correct in following my instincts with my children despite all the flack I received from other people.

For my secular readers, this is a Christian book with foundations in Christ.  So, in addition of being a dad who is emotionally and physically present to your son, the book goes beyond that.  It teaches dads to instill strong, spiritual, Christ-like character in their sons.  And to do that, you must live what you preach.

As a mom, this really didn't help me to understand my son more.  But maybe it's because I'm female that I don't fully get it.  Maybe there is more there that a dad can connect with, look at his own life, and see what he can do to shape his son's life in a positive way.

This book does not have all the answers.  But I think it's a wonderful place to start for dads looking for direction with their sons.

Title: What a Son Needs from His Dad
Author: Michael A. O'Donnell, PhD
Publication Year: 2011
ISBN: 978-0-7642-0969-7
Publisher: Bethany House
Source: Received from publisher in return for honest review
Rating: 4/5
Recommend? Yes.

Book Review: Beyond All Measure by Dorothy Love

From the publisher:

Ada has loved deeply and lost dearly. But protecting her heart could mean missing the love of a lifetime.

Ada Wentworth may be young, but she's seen enough of life to know she can only rely on herself. Everyone including God it seems, has let her down. Having lost her family, her fiance, and her fortune, Ada journeys from Boston to Hickory Ridge, Tennessee, to take a position as a lady's companion. Though initially charmed by the pretty little Southern town tucked into the foothills of the great Smokies, Ada plans to stay only until she can earn enough to establish a millinery shop.
Her employer, Wyatt Caldwell, the local lumber mill owner, is easily the kindest, most attractive man Ada has met in Hickory Ridge. He believes Providence has brought her to town and into his life. But how, after so many betrayals, can she ever trust again? Besides, Wyatt has a dream of his own. A dream that will one day take him far from Hickory Ridge.
As the South struggles to heal in the aftermath of the Civil War, one woman must let go of her painful past in order to embrace God's plans for her. Can she trust Him, and Wyatt, with her future and her heart?

I was pleasantly surprised when this book arrived in my mailbox from the publisher.  I actually had won it on another blog (although I forget which one--my apologies!!!).  And as much as I was surprised at its arrival, I was more surprised once I started to read.

Ada, alone in this world after losing everything, takes a job as a lady's companion.  This job takes her from Boston, Massachusetts to Hickory Ridge, Tennessee.  The year is 1871, and the divide between the north and the south is still living and breathing (as it is today.  I never realized it until this Yankee went down south for awhile).  While her employer, Wyatt Caldwell, is happy that he has someone to take care of his aging, ailing aunt, other members of the community are not so welcoming.  They also are not afraid to let her know.

Ada had plans to make enough money to move on, and open her own millinery shop.  Yet, once she and Wyatt meet, we realize it is only a matter of time before love blossoms.  However, Ada is not so intent on having a new love in her life, especially after her fiance leaves her high and dry.

Throughout this story, the characters grow and evolve.  Ada seems to lock her heart from any sort of love due to the hurt from her past, but we find her softening up to not only to Wyatt, but his cankerous aunt and fellow townspeople, also.  Wyatt, ever the hero, is believable and not over-the-top.  I feel that Ms. Love's character development was great, especially considering this is a Christian historical romance. I typically find characters can easily be very flat in this genre.  Along with great characterization, it is apparent that the author knows her history and/or did her research.  This was seen over and over again in various scenes.  From the southern Yankee sympathizers vs. the true-blooded southerners, to aspects of the KKK, I really felt like I was transported back in time.


The only issue I have with the novel is when

Spoiler:

Ada's former fiance comes back into the picture.

I felt that it was hurried and thrown in there to tie up all loose ends. This could have been the cause of publisher's guidelines rather than the idea that Ms. Love's writing is somewhat lacking.

Overall, I was really impressed with this novel and looking forward to reading the next novels in the Hickory Ridge series.

Title: Beyond All Measure
Author: Dorothy Love
Publication Year: 2011
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Source: Won via another book blog/Personal copy.
Rating: 4/5
Recommend?  Yes.